I am going to challenge your self-image and ask you a question: how kind are you? And if you are, are you kind to everybody all the time, or do you make a selection?
It is said that everybody has good intentions, at least no one is willing to admit that they don’t, so I’m sure that you all mean to be kind but sometimes (just sometimes) things you say or do appear somewhat different.
It is important to be more kind. Maybe more important than ever.
To be more kind means to do good towards other people but also to be good and accepting towards oneself. To be mentally healthy you have to work on your “kindness index” because without it we can’t achieve the real balance in life.
Kindness brings us closer to others, makes us compassionate, friendly, empathetic, and polite to others but also ourselves because the feelings we experience in moments of gentleness leave us with a beneficial effect. If we focus on gentleness towards others, we learn to be gentle towards ourselves, towards the way we think, but also towards the state in which we find ourselves. Every person notices imperfections, flaws, and even shortcomings, but how we treat them determines the level of stress we experience in life. Kindness helps us accept imperfections and teaches us how to be more patient in the process of change.
From kindness, we feel good but also we satisfy the basic psychological needs for acceptance and belonging. Acts of kindness “light up” the part of the brain in charge of rewarding (reward system) and thus encourages our pro-social behavior: It brings us closer to others and strengthens our social ties. Behavior in kindness stimulates the secretion of serotonin (hormone of "happiness") and oxytocin (hormone of "belonging"), which will increase the feeling of trust in us but also reduce feelings of anxiety and fear. Did you know that gentleness to the elderly can have a positive effect on their longevity?
Even if we watch others spread kindness, we will feel better, which means that we have the responsibility to be kind, because in this way we will best influence the development of our children, and we will be a good model for them.
What stops us from being more kind?
What most often prevents us from expressing kindness or giving compliments to others is social anxiety that occurs in moments when we need to say something nice to a person with whom we are not very close (a stranger in passing). We feel nervous because we think our compliment may be misinterpreted, so we think the other person will also feel bad. Underlying those behaviors we find our convictions, not the truth. There is a way to put them aside.
How to be more kind?
Kindness is an expression, meaning it is related to our communication skills. We are often unaware of how our tone of voice or choice of words affects others, and we often leave an unintentional impression, as if we are being rude or criticizing too much. If we pay attention to the choice of words, the way we express criticism, and the tone of voice, we can improve kindness in communication. Criticize the behavior, not the person, choose words with which you emphasize what you want and how you will achieve it, not just impossibilities and obstacles, and soften the tone a bit.
Share your feelings and actions with others, especially if they are acts of kindness - be a good example in your environment, start a wave of kindness, inspire others. Use social media to send a good message.
Offer to help those who need help: when moving, going through difficult life moments or just to shorten their time of loneliness. Volunteering and helping are the best paths to kindness, and giving yourself unreservedly (without expecting gratitude on the other hand) will awaken in you a new dimension and understanding of gentleness in the best possible way.
Pay attention to your surroundings as you walk down the street or ride the bus or tram. Offer someone your seat or a smile, move to the side of a person with heavy bags to make it easier to pass, or simply hold on to a neighbor’s door.
Be kinder with yourself. Difficult moments in everyone’s life require recovery time. Don't rush into recovery too soon, be patient and gentle, allow yourself the time you need to be better tomorrow or someday. People are often intolerant and unyielding towards themselves. Turn that story around and awaken kindness towards yourself.