There are abilities that people often think they can’t change, that they are born that way or that they had inherited that style of living but science is here to prove us wrong and to test your convictions about your possibility to change. One of those abilities is presence - can you be more present? Let’s see if the impossible is nothing!
Did you ever hear that it is important to have confidence? Of course, it is, but where does the confidence come from? Is confidence a mystical power or is it something we can create for ourselves? Self-confidence comes from your own belief about how much control you have in everyday situations, or something very specific, like a specific event - running marathon for example. If you believe that you will perform at your best, no matter how challenging the conditions may be, we can say that you are very self-confident. But if you don’t have the impression of control, especially in challenging situations, no matter how much you prepared, the confidence level will be very low. It seems there is a lot of people not functioning very well under pressure-
Your belief about the dose of control can be a result of your inadequate control over your circle of control that consists of your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and physiology - that means that, no matter how much you prepared, practiced, or know about a certain situation you are going into, you can have low self-confidence because you don’t have enough of thought control, you don't know how your posture or movement is going to influence your state, nor you have enough control over your emotions or physiology.
One of the simplest ways to gain more control over your circle of control is to know how to use presence and thus enhance your level of self-confidence and achieve better results.
Explaining the importance of presence.
Being big in a room has nothing to do with your height, nor does it have to do anything with being loud. It has to do with you being present as a person with all your verbal, non-verbal, and para-verbal signs, and also, it is greatly connected to your posture and movement.
Why is important to be more present? Being more present has an impact on self-confidence and our hormonal system by rising the level of serotonin and testosterone and lowering the cortisol level.
How to become more present?
We have 3 circles in our life: circle of control, circle of influence, and circle out of our control. We tend to focus on outside circles, more than we focus on our circle of control. By doing that we are making it smaller and weaker, thus we diminish our presence. Focusing on our circle of influence with unproductive expectations or exaggerating ideas of self-attribution can lead to even more frustration and a weaker presence. Focusing on a circle beyond control with any engagement other than the one of an observer leads to an even poorer presence. It’s good to know how to influence your circle of control in a meaningful way.
Boost your presence by using Power posing exercises.
You can do it in everyday situations if you just remind yourself to pay attention to the pose your body is in. Do it by sticking post-it papers around you that will remind you to sit up straight or to tighten your core.
You can use power posing just before you enter the challenging situation. Stand like Freddie Mercury or Superman for a couple of minutes but be aware of your self-talk as well - remember, your inner circle is interconnected so it DOES matter what is it that you’re telling yourself right before you enter something challenging.
Think about the way you want to behave, feel or think and repeat those words while you stand in the room, being present. I am big, I am ready, I am possible! Because impossible is nothing!
Leave old practices of dominance behind you and embrace the new ones of being more present.